Fool me once…shame on me.

If you are a teacher or have children, you learn quickly how easily lying comes for them.

Whether it is “my dog ate my homework” or “Someone threw my project out the bus window” (yes, I really got that excuse last quarter), we all know the excuses. And yet, they still keep trying to pull one over on us.

I am pretty sure that middle school students have a Book Of Excuses that they pass around and try to see which ones work on teachers.

Thanks to all those darlings who try to lie to me on a daily basis…this blog post if for a few of my favourite “white lies” that my kiddos try to use on me (because I am silly in the noodle that naive to not know what their real intentions are).

#1:

Me: “Welcome to class, which started 15 minutes ago.”

Student: “Oh, my bad…I was busy eating pancakes while shaving my unicorn in the bathroom.”

(or whatever other word diarrhea they have to spit out of their mouths when they are tardy.)

 

IMG_1603.JPG

  <— #2.

The pass I received the other day from a student who wanted to come to my room.  

 Very sly…I barely noticed the change and the difference in handwriting… -_-

*Please note I also caught this child CHANGING the pass in my doorway with a pencil. Smooth move, slick! 

 

#3:

  Student: “Mrs. Hill, I don’t think I can interview people today    (journalism class). 

  Me: “Why not?”

Student: “Well, before I answer *stumbles over feet*..I have a question to ask first.”

Me: *awkwardly looks at student with the “please continue” face*

Student: “Do Monster Energy Drinks have alcohol in them?”

Me: “Um, no. They have caffeine in them, not alcohol.”

Student: “oh…never mind then.” *stands up straight and walks away*

 

#4:

Me: *points at a student* “Put away your phone or it goes in phone jail!”

Variety of student responses:

  • “I was checking the time!”
  • “My mom texted me!”
  • “I got a picture on snapchat!”
  • “I had to check my hair/makeup!”

My favourite student answer to catching them with their phones is the following;

Student: “I WASN’T ON MY PHONE!”

Me: “Well, I can assume you were not just smiling at your crotch for the last 5 minutes…if so, I think I need to send you to speak to a councilor.” 

(Gets them every time, LOL!)

 

#5: 

Students who are not in my class, walk in a sit down ALL the time. I teach 8th grade ELA…and I get kids from all grade levels who do this daily. Their reason….

Student:”I got my schedule changed. I am in here now.” 

Me: “Good try you cheeky monkey. Go to your ACTUAL class. Goodbye.” 

 

Silly children, thinking I don’t know all the tricks in their little book of lying lines to tell your teacher. Although they kill me and the lies crack me up…I must say, at least it adds entertainment to my day. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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