Middle schoolers and pregnancy

Being ‘about to pop’ and teaching middle school students has been frustrating, but full of laughs as well.

Thankfully, one thing middle schoolers these days are still quite naive about is pregnancy. They don’t quite get how it works, which has led to many funny comments and conversations in my classroom.

Let me share some of these student thoughts with you so you can enjoy as well.

Pregnancy in general:

  • “How does a baby get made in only 9 weeks?”
  • “What if your baby has both boy and girl parts?”
  • “What if you have an ugly baby, would you switch it at the hospital? I would.”
  • “What happens if your water breaks in class? That would be cool!”
  • “You should have the baby at school.” (ew, NO ONE needs or wants to see that, thanks kid)
  • “Your baby should be born on Christmas!” (Doesn’t matter that Christmas would be 8 weeks AFTER my due date…no big deal)
  • “Did you already have the baby? Your stomach looks smaller today.”

Baby name suggestions:

  • “Is the baby’s name really going to be Peanut?” (Obviously, we don’t get the nickname thing in middle school)
  • “You should name her Aldina, it’s the girl version of my name so you always think of me.”
  • “You should name your child a country, like some of your students. You could name her Canada with a K. Or England, since she’s half English.”

Student advise on how to make the baby come out faster:

  • “Just poop…it’s the same thing practically.”
  • “Eat tacos. Lots of tacos.”
  • “You should play in the teacher v. student volleyball game!”
  • “Jump up and down.”
  • “Can’t you just grab her and pull her out?” (uhh…this is NOT a horror movie)

My favourite moment of it all though has to be from a couple of weeks in my WORST class. 22 kids, all but 3 are boys, and I see them right after lunch. Yup. You get the idea.

I was teaching them and they weren’t listening and the baby did a big move and all I hear across my room is “DID YOUR STOMACH JUST MOVE! COOL!”. They now pay a bit more attention, at least looking at my stomach, to see baby moves for them again.

I must say, although teaching up to the day I pop has been a bit stressful and exhausting…engaging in conversation with my students about my baby has been quite amusing. They truly have no sense of time…or how baby’s work.

Oh my darling students, thank you for at least making my pregnancy more amusing than the average persons. 😉

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